Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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