Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
