i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
