Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
