and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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