I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
ok first of all what the fuck
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
