My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They have beer where we have blood.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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