turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
