Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My pussy is not your playground.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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