You made me cry and you don't even care
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
