hotel room ftw
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize