I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
