She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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