Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Damn victory sex feels great
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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