i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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