how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
