oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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