CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
