thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
