omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
