Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
