my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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