Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
