windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
