Plan B is the new Plan A
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
