please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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