I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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