I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
