apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
