Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
