do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She said her name was "party"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
