if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
