Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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