So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
