Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you would pick up someone in the library
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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