This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
