is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
