garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
