That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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