K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
