Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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