i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i think im in europe. pls send help
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
