Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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