the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
