Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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