drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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