I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
