just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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