For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
how drunk are you?
Several
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
