I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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