He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
