Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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