she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
