He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
