if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
